Feelings Locked Away
by LizziePotter123
Summary: Merlin's convinced the only way to protect Arthur and Camelot is to kill Morgana himself...but will Arthur give him that chance? protective!Arthur, locked up Merlin, ArthurxMerlin T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello all! I started this fanfic months ago and left it unfinished…again. Gah, I hope to finish at least one of my fanfics at some point soon! Anyways, for motivation to continue this or not, I need you guys to judge this story and see if it's good enough to continue. Best to get more opinions before I self judge my work. I promise I'll get back to all my fanfics soon. Consider this my return into the fanfiction fold. Lizzie xoxox

A/N after A/N: Be aware that this fanfic is ARTHURXMERLIN. It also has hints of cannon personalities, but the plotline is pure OOC. For all those who think I'm nuts, you don't have to read, but alot of MerlinxArthur fangirls (including me, duh) love protective!Arthur, to the point where its obsessive.

Feelings Locked Away

The latest war between Arthur and Morgana was over. Gwen had returned to Camelot, her banishment pardoned by Arthur. Arthur and Gwen had married, and Gwen was crowned queen of Camelot.

So why wasn't everything fine?

"Morgana," Merlin thought angrily to himself, his hands clenching into fists as he walked. Why did he let Morgana slip away again? He'd thought he had Morgana when he summoned the avalanche of rubble to fall on top of her. Although he successfully saved Gwen from her wrath, Morgana, injured and revengeful, limped out of Camelot, none stopping her.

As long as Morgana lived, Camelot would be threatened, and Arthur would outlaw all magic. As long as Morgana lived, Merlin's destiny would not be fulfilled.

Merlin reached the chambers that he and Gaius shared. He knew what had to be done.

He had to fight Morgana to the death.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ah, Merlin!" Gaius smiled, glancing up from his work. "I was wondering when you'd return. Come, I need your help running errands in town today."

Not waiting for Merlin's response, Gaius shoved a basket into Merlin's hand and guided him out the door.

"Gaius," Merlin said, but the physician was focused on shutting the door.

"I thought we'd get some more berries to add to a new remedy I'm working on, and after some herbs-"

"Gaius," Merlin said louder, the pair starting their walk through the palace halls.

"And after, some concoctions for medicines I need to distribute to the wounded knights, I dare say they've been treating their wounds badly-"

"Gaius!" Merlin shouted, stopping the physician in his tracks outside a chamber door.

"Merlin, you'd better have a good reason for shouting at me," Gaius said crossly.

"Believe it or not, I do," Merlin said cheekily before he regained a serious demeanor.

Merlin took a deep breath, and quickly stated his plan.

"I'."

"Merlin, I didn't quite catch that."

"I'm going to find Morgana in the woods and fight her to the death tonight."

"You what!" Gaius yelled, but Merlin tried to cover Gaius' mouth.

"Merlin!" Gaius scolded.

"Sorry, but I don't want the dollop head to know," Merlin explained sheepishly.

"Merlin, you can't do that! Don't you know your own life is at stake? Morgana has magic, one wrong move and she'd kill you!" Gaius stated. "Don't you realize that your future is at stake?"

"Gaius, as long as Morgana's alive, she will never stop attacking Camelot. If she isn't stopped, what future will I have?" Merlin explained.

"Merlin, I understand, but have Arthur send knights to finish her! You mustn't go alone!"

"Gaius, I have to. You know why. The knights don't have any chance against her powers. My job is to protect Arthur. It's got to be me. Please don't try and stop me." Merlin said, an air of finality in his voice.

"Merlin, you know I can't stop you, but please be careful. My heart couldn't take the strain if I'd lost you." Gaius said.

"Aren't I always careful?" Merlin grinned.

Gaius smiled. "What are you planning to tell Arthur?"

"I'll say I'm on a trip to get supplies for you. If Arthur thinks I'm at the tavern again, he'd kill me."

"That was my doing, Merlin. I'm not very good at making excuses."

"Well, that makes two of us."

Chuckling, the pair resumed their walk to town, unaware that someone had listened to their conversation on the other side of the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Agravane backed away from the door.

"So, Merlin's planning on killing my lady Morgana?" Agravane thought wickedly. He would have to be killed first. "A shame….Morgana could have used Merlin. Pity."

He grabbed his sword, lying on the bed, picturing Merlin's blood drenched in it, but a thought made him hastily put it back.

"Morgana instructed me not to kill Merlin, no matter what. He is, after all an asset to Arthur's downfall." Agravane chuckled.

He opened the door, and walked quickly down the hall. There was no time to waste.

Arthur must know of Merlin's plan.

XXXXXXXXXX

Agravane entered the main hall, where Arthur and a handful of council members were discussing ideas of defensive strategies. Acknowledging his uncle's presence, Arthur looked up.

"Uncle. What news do you bring?"

"My lord," Agravane said seriously, "There is a matter of which I have the deepest concern for, which ought to be discussed in private. Have you the time?"

"Of course, Uncle," Arthur replied, dismissing his council. It was not until everyone had cleared the room that Agravane continued.

"My lord, I have overheard of a dangerous matter involving your manservant, Merlin."

"Uncle, I assure you, Merlin is not a threat to anyone, nor does he conspire with those of magic. He has my complete trust." Arthur stated, turning to collect a parchment left on the high table.

"Yet his loyalty to you is causing him to do the unthinkable."

Bewildered, Arthur looked up. "What do you mean?"

"Sire, Merlin is planning to leave Camelot tonight undetected to fight your sister Morgana to the death. I overheard him telling your physician, Gaius, outside my very chambers."

Arthur's face had molded into a look of furious rage, his hand dropping the now crumpled parchment on the floor.

"Sire," Agravane offered, "I could always order the guards to oversee him, and make sure he doesn't go through with it."

"No," Arthur said through his teeth, "I want Merlin to be found and brought here to me. I must hear what he has to say for himself."

"As you wish, sire." Agravane said, exiting the hall, a smirk plastered on his face.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Merlin, dragged by two guards, was brought into the hall. By Arthur's furious look, Merlin knew this wasn't good.

"Guards. Leave us." Arthur said. They obeyed, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone.

"Sire?" Merlin said, uneasy. "What's going on?"

"Oh, I don't know, Merlin." Arthur said sarcastically. "Why don't you tell me?"

"If this is about the stables, I'll have you know that it's impossible to keep it totally clean with horses flying dung everywhere-"

"MERLIN!" Arthur yelled, losing his patience. "Did you or did you not plan on fighting Morgana tonight? And don't you _dare_ try lying to me!"

Merlin was in shock; how could Arthur have known? Gaius couldn't have tipped him off; he was with Merlin the whole time.

"Merlin, I want an answer today."

Slowly, Merlin nodded his head.

And that's when Arthur lost it.

"MERLIN! Why would you do such a thing? You think it's worth risking your life to kill her? You are _such _an idiot!"

And that's where Merlin lost it.

"Don't you realize, you clot pole, that as long as Morgana lives, Camelot will never be safe! We'll constantly lose the lives of our people to her! I must go and attempt to kill her!"

"Merlin, I can't believe you are this thick! She wants to kill you! You'd be walking right into her hands! You are defenseless and weak and untrained in battle combat! How can you defeat her? Why didn't you tell me?" Arthur shouted.

"I didn't tell you because you'd never let me go!" Merlin yelled.

"You got that right! Merlin, you are my...my manservant." Arthur confessed. "You mean so much to me. Morgana just wants to kill you so she can get to me. You are not under any circumstances risking your life just to have a chance at killing her!"

"Arthur, I am loyal to you, and I respect most of your reasoning, but I am still going, regardless if you want me to or not." Merlin stated firmly. "I'm going to kill Morgana, or die trying. I must do this."

"Merlin, you forget that I am also your master and your king. You must follow my orders. You are not going." Arthur ordered.

"Well then, let your orders be damned!" Merlin shouted. "I don't care what you try to do. Put me in the stocks, set me up with piles of work, I don't care, Arthur. You cannot stop me from going."

"I can and I will!" Arthur declared. "Guards!"

Instantly, a handful of guards came to Arthur's disposal.

"Take Merlin to my chambers. You will guard every inch of the palace, and you will make certain that he doesn't escape."

"You dollop head!" Merlin yelled as the guards began to drag him away. "Why can't you just let me go?"

"Because, Merlin," Arthur whispered, "You are mine."

XXXXXXXXXX

Merlin paced in Arthur's room; complaining and cursing with every step he took.

"I can't believe him."

Step

"I have to go."

Step

"Arthur's a moron."

Step

"I'm not a child."

Step

"F*ck him"

Step

"Just…f*ck him"

"Merlin, I knew you were cheeky, but this is astounding."

Horrified, Merlin turned around to find Arthur smirking behind him.

"Why are you here?" Merlin asked stupidly.

"Well, because first, this is my room, and second, I don't trust you."

"Arthur, will you let it go? You have six guards watching over this room alone, it wouldn't surprise me if hundreds more are guarding the halls. I'm good and trapped." Merlin huffed.

"Merlin, you don't fool me. You never give up on anything. Will you just stop moping?" Arthur asked. "This is for your own good."

"I don't see what the big deal is. I've risked my life hundreds of times before, and everything seems to work out in the end." Merlin protested.

"Don't even start that, Merlin. In the last year alone, you've been injured twice and you went missing." Arthur stated.

"But-"

"Enough. Our discussion is over. You are going to stay in this room, Merlin, for as long as necessary. Be thankful you're not in the dungeons."

Arthur walked away and had his hand on the bedroom door when Merlin said something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Why do you even care? I'm just a servant."

Turning around, Arthur walked up to Merlin, livid inside.

"Don't you _ever_ call yourself that again."

And Arthur left without another word.

XXXXXXXX

"My lady, everything is set."

Morgana turned, facing her loyal follower.

"You have a plan?" She asked.

"More of a gain, my lady." Agravane said. "Merlin is on to us both."

"I know that already, you fool!" Morgana shouted. "What gain is it that he could be my undoing?"

"I had not finished, my lady. Through luck, I overhead his scheme to leave Camelot and kill you."

Morgana laughed. "Does he actually believe he could kill me, a sorceress? Merlin couldn't survive on his own if he tried, let alone fight."

"Arthur's view on the matter is similar to yours." Agravane said.

Morgana glared at him angrily before realizing what Agravane meant.

"You told Arthur? And his reaction-"

"Was an impractical one, I assure you," Agravane interrupted. "When I left, Merlin's imprisonment in the castle was being carried out."

"You have done well, Agravane." Morgana praised, smirking. "Merlin is out of the way, and soon, Arthur will be too."

"What do you propose, my lady?"

Morgana looked up at Agravane, a childlike smirk plastered on her face.

"My dear Agravane, surely you know that Arthur can't stand disobedience from his _baby_." she taunted, drawing out the word, "If Merlin's in danger, Arthur does anything to save him."

Agravane was confused. "You want me to kill Merlin?"

Morgana grabbed Agravane's shirt and pulled him close to her face. "No, you fool! Even though he's trapped, Merlin will try to leave. When he does, make sure he comes to me. Aid him, do whatever it takes, but make sure he gets here!"

With that said, she let him go.

Preparing to leave, Agravane headed for the door, but stopped abruptly.

"Why do you want Merlin, if you don't want to kill him?"

At that, Morgana laughed.

"With Merlin gone, Arthur will search for him, and find him here. I'll have them both at my mercy. Arthur would do anything for his baby. Even give up the throne of Camelot."

XXXXXXXXX

By sunset, Merlin was still locked in Arthur's chambers.

Sighing, Merlin looked out the window. He knew that he must wait until nightfall, when Arthur was asleep, to escape using magic. If he'd blown the door open and attacked the guards in the day, he'd get caught. Merlin intended to keep his magic a secret.

He'd almost considered giving up on escaping when Gwen had brought him food earlier.

"Arthur's told me what happened." Gwen had said. "And he said to tell you that he's sleeping in a guest chamber tonight, so you get his room all to yourself."

"Great."

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Why would you do that?"

"What?"

"Risk your life again. Everyone cares about you so much. We don't want to lose you."

"Morgana-"

"Will die eventually." Gwen had stated, "Without your involvement. Please, Merlin. We all need you."

Remembering Gwen's face, saddened and fearful, Merlin didn't want to hurt her. He knew, however, that he must go. He would save them. He didn't matter, as long as he saved them.

XXXXXXXXXX

At 3 in the morning, Merlin was ready to escape.

Looking out Arthur's window, he spotted two guards directly below him.

"Great," he thought. Arthur remembered the way they'd escaped from the palace to see Morgause.

Thinking fast, Merlin summoned a brass object and levitated it out the window, checking his aim before he dropped it on a guard. The guard yelled, falling unconscious. His partner looked up and found Merlin, who gave a sheepish grin.

The guard ran, calling for the king.

Knowing he had mere seconds, Merlin used magic to float himself to the ground, and ran as fast as his legs would carry him in the direction of Morgana's hovel.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Arthur was asleep when he awoke to rapping on the door, followed by the sound of the warning bell.

"Sire." A guard called, "Your manservant. He has escaped."

"WHAT?" Arthur roared, leaping out of his bed. He quickly threw a shirt on, and opened the door, the guard shrinking at his enraged form.

"Gather the knights, as quickly as you can, we leave imminently." Arthur ordered, "When I find out who let him escape…"

Cursing, Arthur ran to get his horse.

"Arthur! What's going on?"

Agravane, fully dressed, had appeared, a look of confusion on his face.

"Merlin has escaped." Arthur explained through clenched teeth. "I would appreciate your assistance in finding him."

"Of course my lord, but shouldn't we wait until morning?"

"No, Uncle," Arthur said, getting on his horse. "I intend to find him now."

XXXXXXXx

Panting, Merlin leaned against a tree. He didn't know how long he'd been running, but he assumed he was at least halfway to Morgana's hovel.

Time could not be wasted. He had to get there before-

"Search every corner of the land! We must find him!"

Merlin froze, recognizing the voice.

It was Arthur.

_Oh, shit._

He heard the horses getting closer.

He couldn't stay there; he would be found.

Magic wasn't an option, either; Arthur and his men were too close, they could see something.

So, Merlin picked the only remaining option he could think of.

He ran right past the bunch, praying they didn't notice.

Unfortunetly for him, Arthur did.

"MERLIN!" Arthur yelled, racing after him on his horse.

Merlin glanced back; Arthur was gaining on him.

Merlin knew he was fighting a losing battle; he couldn't outrun a horse.

Still, he wouldn't surrender until he got caught-

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, grabbing the servant by the collar of his jacket.

Merlin looked up; even in the darkness he could tell Arthur was livid.

"Hey, Arthur," Merlin said sheepishly, "Just out for an early morning run. Are you, too?"

"Merlin," Arthur growled.

"What? Just because I'm thin doesn't mean I don't run-"

"Don't lie to me, Merlin."

Arthur placed Merlin behind him on his horse, gathered the knights, and they proceeded back to Camelot in silence, Agravane failing to keep the fear off his face.

XXXXXXX

"I should have known."

Merlin was once again in Arthur's chambers, staring guiltily at the enraged Arthur.

"I should have known you'd be thick enough to try to outsmart me."

"Yeah, because it's near impossible to outsmart you." Merlin replied stupidly.

"_Mer_lin. Enough."

Arthur crossed the room, picked up a vase, and smashed it against the floorboards. Merlin stood, shocked that for once Arthur didn't aim the object at him.

"Goddamnit, Merlin" Arthur said at last, looking Merlin straight in the eye, his face full of anguish and heartbreak. "Why won't you ever listen to me?"

"I do-"

"No, you don't." Arthur finished for him.

Merlin made to protest, but seeing Arthur had a point, thought better of it.

Arthur walked to the door, turning around to give Merlin a final order.

"You are to stay here. If you get bored, there is chainmail for you to clean in the corner as well as many things for you to fix from your previous blunders."

"We're not going to even discuss this?" Merlin protested, "We're friends, Arthur."

For the first time, Arthur looked away, sadness etched in his face. After a moment, he seemed to have pulled himself together, his voice now threatening, as if Merlin had accused him of a shameful crime.

"One attempt to leave will result in you locked in the stocks while I face Morgana."

"Arthur! No!" Merlin cried, but Arthur had turned and walked away, the door latched tightly behind him.

A/N: To be continued...hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey, again! I'm so happy that people like the story, so much that, guess what? I've updated! Yay! Anyways, hope you like it! LizziePotter123 xoxox

XXXXXXXX

As he made his exit from the chamber, the image of Arthur faded slowly from Agravaine's mirror, replaced by Morgana, her displeasure as sure as Arthur's.

"Agravaine…you have failed me."

"My lady-" Agravaine attempted to say but was silenced by a shock of pain the sorceress had sent through the mirror.

"Your loyalty does you no good! For here we are, the fallen of a plan so easily constructible and equally completable, the capture of a lowly servant! And you loyalty cannot succeed in even getting a basic task completed?" Morgana shouted.

"My lady, there is still time-"

"Time, you say? Oh, yes Agravaine, how much time have I been waiting to get my hands on what is mine? Far too long, due to my uninformed past and now your unreliable execution of plans. Do tell me, Agravaine, why I should care for time, if all you will do is continue to set me back farther from my goal!" Her last words became screeches, the mirror shaking from her use of voice.

"My lady, I have a plan to put both Merlin and Arthur at your disposal by the end of the week! " Agravaine pleaded, "Merlin will most surely escape again, and by that point-"

"He won't."

Morgana's disbelief at his words caused Agravaine to recollect his thoughts.

"My lady, didn't you say that Merlin would-"

"Merlin would escape, had Arthur not said those last few words. The ones we both witnessed?" Morgana added plainly, noting that her "knight" was already confused by her wording. "Merlin may be a bumbling idiot, but he's not stupid when it comes to Arthur. It is clear that Arthur will no doubt go through with his threat. And with guards stationed at, most likely, every point in the palace, Merlin's idiocy will not bring luck to him, even if he did want to escape."

"Then, my lady, what do you propose we do?" Agravaine asked, his former plan in shatters from Morgana's words.

Morgana smirked, an idea coming to her.

"There is but one thing you can do, Agravaine. Capture Merlin, and bring him to me."

"How, my lady? There are guards everywhere."

"Simple. You tell the guards outside the door that Arthur requires clothes for practice and that you were sent to assist his disobedient servant in selecting them, or something of that sort. You enter, keeping both your sword and chains from the palace unseen. Once you see Merlin, gag him with cloth, and shackle him. Tell him a lie, such as the king requests he be completely unable to escape. Then, for the enjoyment of it, quietly destroy Arthur's room so it'll look as though Merlin fought and was indeed taken."

"Why?" Agravaine asked stupidly, "Don't you want Arthur to think Merlin escaped again?"

"No, you fool!" Morgana shouted, "Although that would send Arthur after Merlin, it would leave him feeling angry, disobeyed by his servant. It's much more fun to toy with my dear brother's emotions in more than one way. Besides, the last time we relied on Merlin's escape and Arthur's anger, the plan failed completely. I would be a fool to try the same approach twice."

"Very well, my lady." Agravaine said, bowing to her mirror image, "I shall see to it."

"So you shall. Play you part as kidnapper as obviously as you can, even include yourself as the one who has taken Arthur's _baby_ away." Morgana said.

"But, my lady…if I do that, I cannot seem loyal to Arthur."

"Indeed, Agravaine. I am confident that this plan cannot fail. Perhaps with the thought, you will not let me down.''

"I shall not, my lady." Agravaine promised, ending his conversation with Morgana as he prepared to execute the plan of which promised Morgana's long and lovely reign on the throne.

XXXXXXXXX

"Arthur! Arthur!"

Gwen busted through the doors of the main hall, shocking the royal advisors at her urgency to speak with her husband. Arthur, however, was merely annoyed by her lack of politeness.

"Gwen, I am in the middle of-"

"It's Merlin."

All at once, fear and anger rushed through Arthur's body. Ignoring his advisors' scoffs at the mention of his manservant, he rushed to Gwen, simply stating quietly "What now?"

"He's been taken. By Agravaine. Arthur, I saw it. I heard some noises behind your door and as I returned with food for Merlin, Agravaine came out of Merlin's door, sporting a large sack over his shoulder. He said it was filled with your clothes for something, but I couldn't help noticing that there was blood on it. Before I could question him, he walked off, leaving me to open the chamber door, and finding….finding.." Gwen couldn't finish her tale, bursting into tears.

At this, Arthur's heart broke, not for Gwen, but for Merlin. He could picture it, the sight of Merlin's bloodied and beaten body motionless on the ground, as it was thrown into a sack…it just couldn't be true.

All dignity forgotten, Arthur left the main hall, rushing through the castle until he reached his chamber door. "I demand to enter!" Arthur shouted at his guards.

"But, your highness," said one, "You wanted-"

"Just open it!" Arthur shouted.

As the guards opened the doors, Arthur's life seemed to stop for a few seconds.

The sight was unbearable; the curtains on his bed slashed, the sheets ripped and tossed amongst the room, broken pots and glass all around the floor, and dangerous amounts of blood all around it all. As Arthur walked in, through his tearful eyes, he saw a note on the floor, next to a puddle of blood. In one swift motion, he picked it up, reading it.

_Arthur,_

_I have taken him. He's alive, but barely. You can be assured he'll be in the best hands. Morgana will take care of him, unless you somehow find us. You have three days, Arthur, to locate Merlin, or he dies. My duty is no longer to you, but to my lady._

_Agravaine._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well, hi everybody! Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I was facing the pressures of life...and laziness, I'll admit that. I will try my hardest to finish this story though! Enjoy! Lizzie xoxox

Chapter 3

"No.." Arthur cried in shock, tears streaming down his face. "Merlin can't be dead, he just can't be!"

"Merlin dead?" Gwen asked, "B-but Arthur, how do you know that for-"

Arthur forced the letter into Gwen's hands, his mind oblivious to her sobs, or the guards' attempts to defend their positions.

_I must go find Merlin. I'll never forgive myself if I let him die. He means everything to me. _

Arthur's mind was made up.

He was going to save Merlin, no matter what the cost.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXx

After the assault, Merlin regained consciousness inside of a sack. Remembering the events prior to his abduction, Merlin used magic to see through his confinement. Sure enough, there was Agravaine leading him to god knows where, along with horse rear.

_Forget the horse, _he thought to himself, _It's Agravaine you should be concerned with._

Peering up at the top of the sack, Merlin whispered a spell he thought he'd never use.

"_Ouvrir le sac et me lassier ici" _(Open the bag and let me out of here)

At once, the bag split open, causing Agravaine to turn around and witness Merlin's latest escape plan.

"Merlin!" Agravaine shouted, detaching the horse from the cart that held the sack up to chase after the clever servant.

Merlin felt a twinge of deja-vu as he ran through the woods, attempting to outrun Agravaine. Of course...he was in the same position when Arthur was after him. Arthur..how Merlin missed him. Hopefully, Merlin could locate the direction of Camelot and arrive there before Agravaine caught him. That way, Arthur could arrest Agravaine, allowing Merlin an almost-idiot proof chance to go after Morgana. Sometimes, destiny really was complicated - why couldn't he have reached Morgana the first time? And why was capturing him suddenly so popular?

_So many questions, _Merlin thought, _so little time._

And speaking of so little time.

Merlin dodged Agravaine's swipe at him, evading his fingers but ignoring another's.

A spell sent him flying through the air, knocking him unconscious against a tree trunk. Pleased with herself, Morgana stepped out of the shadows.

Agravaine stared at her in shock before hastily bowing at her feet.

"My lady...it is such a surprise..thank you for your aid...I was nearly about to catch him-"

"Yes, I'm sure Agravaine, but you've become rather disappointing lately, haven't you?"

"...my lady?"

"I thank you for your attempts to help, but your services are no longer required here...or ever again," Morgana said before hitting Agravaine in the chest with a spell meant to kill.

Agravaine stumbled backwards before falling to the ground, dead.

Smirking, Morgana lifted Merlin's body up by magic, and whispered in his ear as she whisked him away to her hovel:

"No worries, baby, your lover is on his way to save you. You're worth utter demise to him, aren't you?"


End file.
